:( Feeling down today.

I went for my P4 test yesterday- I didn't get my normal lab tech, instead I got this BRUTAL woman who left me with a fantastic bruise!! I will call my doctors office this afternoon to see what the results were... I am guessing the levels will be high because my temps are way up. I am also unbelievably tired- and this generally happens when my progesterone levels are high.

I am also really emotional this week, it is driving me crazy!! I spun out on my way to work yesterday and a big truck almost hit me... I started screaming and crying in the car, I then called DH and told him I couldn't do this drive again next year- we had to move. (I drive an hour to work on back country roads). Today I drove in through a snow storm to get to work for a few meetings- and when I got here they all got cancelled... I was not impressed at all!! I haven't been feeling too great this week, bad stomach pains Monday, and then yesterday and again today my back is killing, only on my right side, but its bad- I slept with a hot water bottle last night. I have had the burning feeling behind my eyes that I am about to cry all week too- I watched a tv show last night and bawled like a baby- its rediculous!!

I talked to a friend this morning that I haven't talked to in awhile, he was saying him and his wife don't see much of me anymore... I know this is true, because I haven't been calling them really... They have 2 kids now- a 2 year old and a baby that's a few months old... it is hard to see them and hang out with them- they started trying for #2 awhile after we started trying and boom... just happened for them... its tough! A few of our friends have kids now- and they are all adorable and wonderful, and I love to see them, but I feel so sad after too!

My birthday is coming up, 27... My goal when DH and I got married was to have a baby or be pregnant by my 27th birthday... Its not looking too promising :( DH is having a birthday party for me on Easter weekend, it should be fun, and I am looking forward to it... but I found out today our friends are all bringing their kids- which is fine, I just hope I don't get sad or upset that day. And its not like I can ask our friends not to bring their kids, especially because a few of my aunts are invited and I am sure they will bring their kids- which is fine with me- I love seeing my little cousins... its just different with my friends and their kids... not sure why, it just is. I know that makes no sense!

Well I should get back to work... just needed to get my thoughts/frustrations out!